Compost for the Future: Grief as a Leadership Skill

Lauren Pappas
Aug 13
2 min read

Beyond Tolerance: A New Standard for Thriving

In the paradigm of Conscious Leadership, grief—like all emotions—is recognized with respect and neutrality. It is something to be acknowledged and made space for, so that we can better assess a leader’s capacity, unconscious biases, and operating context that may hinder or enhance aligned action.

That’s a powerful starting point. And tragically, it’s still a rare and insufficient baseline for thriving.

Grief Isn’t a Detour—It’s a Design Feature

Grief isn’t just something to tolerate or make space for—it’s something we, as humans, are designed for. We need it. Grief allows us to transmute energy. It connects us to the mystery beyond ordinary life. It enables remembrance and communion.

In a culture that views the human experience primarily through the lens of productivity, the need to practice grief is not just a missed opportunity for personal wholeness—it’s a cultural and leadership crisis.

Without Grief, There Is No Regenerative Leadership

As leaders and worldbuilders, we simply cannot address the greatest challenges and opportunities of our time without grieving what is falling apart. We must grieve what has not worked. We must face the collapse.

We cannot move forward in a context of climate change, for example, without coming to terms with the tragic loss of what has been broken. And we must do so on all levels: intellectually, emotionally, culturally, spiritually, energetically.

For the kind of expansive leadership needed to build a new world, grief is not optional. It is the transmutation mechanism. It is how we release inherited paradigms, systemic biases, and expired beliefs. It is how we make space for the unknowable, the emergent, the nascent.

Grief Won’t Break You—Avoiding It Will

We often avoid grief, sadness, and loss for fear they will debilitate us. And, at a nervous system level, if we weren’t raised with emotional resilience (which most of us weren’t), going through the portal of grief can feel like too much.

But the good news is this: as adults, we can grow. We can do immense inner work to cultivate this capacity.

Grief as Nourishment and Compost for the Future

With this capacity, grief no longer depletes us—it nourishes us. Like dead organic matter turning into compost, grief transforms what no longer serves into fertile ground. It increases our ability to be with intensity. It converts experience into wisdom. It grounds vision into on-earth perspective.

Most importantly, it enables us to hold meaningful space—for ourselves and for others.